I have been thinking about writing this but 95% of the content I wrote for this, I didn't know how to really word it. (when am I ever able to word anything I write though LOL), But I thought, let's try again and just really go for it and write anything and everything that I would tell my younger self. If could tell my younger self anything so far? It would be this. (Cue the cheesiest yet deepest post I've done to date).

To my younger self,

It is now getting closer to the end of 2016 and it has been an incredibly eye opening year for you to date. You've had to make a whole lot of decisions regarding a lot of personal things and it's opened your eyes up on so much that you wish you knew what you know now, back then.

With you being the oldest out of your siblings, you have never really known what to expect growing up and going through life since you never really had anyone to guide you in a way, so it pretty much resulted in you just going with the flow. Yeah, you've had a few bumps in the road along the way but all of those bumps in your life have resulted in where you are right now.

You use to worry so much back them about the situations you were in, the people you were around and what would happen to you if you were to ever drift apart or lose contact. Right now? You are doing more than fine without them. Yes, you have had people leave your life. People who you thought you have known your whole life since you had already known them for that long, buuuuut things don't quite work out the way you want them to. You have met so many new and amazing people who have all left their mark in your life, whether that be good or bad. You will meet more people in the future, some who may not like you and others who you will feel like you have known them for years. 

Let me give you some life lessons...Do not give a crap about what people say about you, especially if they do not know you personally. You will come across people who will speak fluent bullshit to your face. Known who have genuine intentions for you and keep those people close. You are honestly in the happiest mental state right now than you have ever been in your entire life. Don't ever let anyone bring your self esteem and confidence down again. 

I hope you are glad to know that you are now embracing your culture and heritage as opposed to you feeling ashamed of it when you were younger. Fuck every single person who ever made you feel ashamed of the culture you are from and made fun of your skin colour, told you to go back to your own country, made fun of your traditional clothing, you wearing mehndi and bindis, etc. Those same people are now wearing those as 'trendy' fashion statements. You are apart of one of the most diverse and rich cultures in the world and don't ever let anybody make you feel ashamed to be. 

Following on from my previous point, your skin colour is perfect the way it is. It does not need to be lighter!!! Embrace your shade of brown which glows in the sunlight. Don't touch any skin lightening creams or any kind of crap like that. 

Don't stress too much either. It's not good for your health to stressand worrying a lot will make you ill. You're still young, you're not supposed to have your entire life figured out at such a young age. Everything will work out even if things don't quite go the way you wanted them to go. Who knows? Maybe the reason something didn't work out the way you planned because there's something better in store for you. God works in mysterious ways. This leads me onto my next point. Seize every life changing opportunity you get. You have missed out on so many opportunities because of your shyness and constantly getting anxious that you would eventually back out. Always take a chance on even the smallest of opportunity that comes your way because who knows, that may lead to something bigger.


PUT DOWN THE TWEEZERS AND DON'T TOUCH YOUR EYEBROWS!!!!! You have always been so self-conscious about your eyebrows but trust me, thick brows will soon come back into style before you know it. Seriously though, put down the tweezers because you look silly with thin eyebrows. 

Reading will always be a means of escaping from reality for you because once you find a good book, you literally can't put it down until you know what happens next. As an 18 year old right now, it is still one of my favourite things to do till date and I hope you never get bored of reading books.

I know that you have had a lot of times where you felt like completely giving up because you feel as though you don't quite fit into the world and that you're simply just ''here' and existing, but you have so much potential to do anything you want in this world, so don't give up on yourself. You'll find your purpose eventually. 

Writing always helps. Buy yourself a journal again like you used to and write in it so you can look back on it when you're older. You used to do this so much and then you just completely stopped.